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Agere Contra
A Lenten principle
“if it happens that the soul is attached or inclined to a thing inordinately, that one should move himself, putting forth all his strength, to come to the contrary of what he is wrongly drawn to.” (st. Ignatius of Loyola)
Disclosure
To be honest, what I fear most in life is attachment.
I am not afraid that the food is bad. I am afraid that it is too good. So good that I will crave for it soon. So good that I will chase after money to purchase it.
I am also not afraid that the clothes fit poorly. But I get quite frightened when I find an online shopping site where most of the clothes fit me well. The pattern is as such — I like it, I buy a lot of it, I get addicted to it and then I find it painful to quit.
The thing I am most afraid of is becoming addicted to relationships. I am not afraid of finding a friend who is a poor listener, whom I relate to poorly. But I get frightened when I find a friend that I like too much. The pattern is as such — I like her too much, I get addicted to her then I find it hard to quit ‘her’.
I find myself becoming a different version of myself in order to retain that friend. It changes me. I hate it. It robs me of the freedom to be who I want to be. I find myself grappling for presents that I don’t want…
