St. Ignatius’s Temptation

The Great Fear That Descended Upon Him

“The Spaniard with whom he had been at the beginning…. fell ill. And that came to him (i.e. St. Ignatius) desires to go to visit him and help him — thinking also that in that meeting, he might win him over to leaving the world and dedicating himself fully to the service of God. So as to be able to bring this about, the desire came upon him of going the eighty four miles from Paris to Rouen on foot, without shoes, not eating or drinking. As he was praying about this, he found himself very fearful. In the end he went to St Dominique, and there he resolved to journey in the way just spoken of, and that great fear that he had of presuming upon God had now passed.

The following day, the morning when he was due to leave, he got up early, and, as he was beginning to dress himself, there came upon him a fear so great that it almost seemed to him he couldn’t dress himself. Despite the repugnance, he left the house, and indeed the city, before it was fully day. However, the fear continued with him constantly, and stayed with him as far as Argenteuil, which is a walled town ten miles from Paris in the direction of Rouen, where the garment of Our Lord is said to be. He passed through that walled town in this spiritual turmoil; then as he was going up a rise in the road, this thing began to pass from him, and there came to him a great consolation and spiritual elan, with so much joy that he began to shout through those fields and to speak with God etc.” (Autobiography of St. Ignatius of Loyola)

Introduction

Ever since I have resolved in my mind to dedicate my live to the Lord and live with my face to the ground, I have been faced with a multitude of temptations.

These have made me weary and sometimes I find myself at the very edge of stumbling. At these times, I found it very helpful to consider the above experience by St. Ignatius of Loyola.

Before we continue, we must note that St. Ignatius was a man who was bent on perfecting his soul to the extent that he often practiced acts of mortification (e.g. fasting, walking without shoes, enduring the cold of winter). The above account tells that he deliberately engaged in acts of mortification to fulfil his desired cause — to win over the sick Spaniard.

Nonetheless, in spite of his conviction and desire to do God’s work, he was afflicted with a great sense of fear; So great was the fear that he found it difficult to get dressed and to make his journey. And the fear was not a passing phenomenon, it lingered.

However, St. Ignatius, depending on the strength of Our Lord, managed to resist the fear and proceeded according to his plan. After many hours, the fear left him and he felt great consolation.

Passion, Death and Resurrection

The above account of St Ignatius is a very good representation of the ‘Paschal Mystery’ AKA the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus.

The Paschal Mystery happens in all over lives, everyday. It usually involves the overcoming of sin to live a Godly life. Of course, not all of us experience it in the same intensity as St. Ignatius but definitely, to some extent, we can all relate to his suffering.

Even Saints Are Tempted

What I like best about the above account is that it illustrates very clearly that even a Saint, or rather especially Saints, are tempted by the devil. When the cause is great and the potential to win souls is enormous, that is when the temptation is strongest.

To fulfil the will of God, many of the times, we have to endure great fear and trepidation. And even when we are inundated with negative emotions (rational or not), once we have received our calling, we need to constantly say ‘NO’ to sin and ‘Yes’ to God.

If we persevere, just like St. Ignatius, we will overcome the temptation and find ourselves in a better place than before.

Akrasia

Akrasia — the state of mind in which one forsakes rational judgement. It has also been described as the rationalisation of bad behaviour. This happens all the time, in all our lives.

Let us now consider the case of Graham Morant, 69. He counselled and assisted his wife to take her life so that he could receive A$1.4 million from her insurance policies. Graham was a devout Christian and wanted to use the money to build a religious commune.

This is a classic case of Akrasia. He managed to rationalise his bad behaviour (i.e. assisting suicide) by justifying it with as ‘worthy’ cause. He valued the church commune, that he was going to build, above his wife’s life.

(This is a big NO NO in the Catholic Church. Every human life is sacred. It does not matter if you are an embryo, elderly demented person or a depressed person. You are loved by God and your life is sacred and needs to be protected.)

Pardon the digression.

Therefore, just like Graham Morant, everyday we are tempted to rationalise bad behaviour.

The man who has an extra-marital affair rationalises it with thoughts like: “It is my wife’s fault. She is not providing for my needs. This is my way to keeping myself sane and happy so that I can be a good father to my children.”

The obese man who stuffs his face with junk food is thinking thoughts like: “I love food so much. I live to eat. There is no way I am ever going to be slim anyway. So why try? Let me just eat this today and die ten years younger.”

This is not the way we are called to live. We are called to live dignified lives for the Lord. When we submit to sin, we fail to fulfil our full potentials in the Lord. If we continue to live like this, slowly and surely, guilt builds up in our hearts and we become deaf to the voice of God.

Conclusion

It is not easy to be a Saint. At the same time, it is not impossible. Just like Saint Ignatius, we have to be aware of instances when the temptation hits (i.e. intense feelings of fear, despair).

In these instances we can either choose to fall into sin (e.g. Akrasia) or we can choose to continue on the vocation God has chosen for us in spite of these debilitating emotions.

On the journey towards God, sometimes we are confronted with such great darkness and fear that we find ourselves completely out of sorts. In these times, we have to embrace the suffering and rely fully on God grace to fulfil his will.

Take it one step at a time. Eventually, like St. Ignatius, the fear will leave us and we will be inundated with joy.

God Bless.