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The Sin of the People Pleaser
Insinuating and imperceptible
Oh how insinuating and imperceptible is the passion of pleasing men: it possesses even the wise! For the effects of other passions are easily seen by those who obey them and so bring those they possess to humility and mourning. But the efforts to please men clothes itself in the words and appearance of piety, so that men in whom it beguiles find it hard to detect its various aspects. (St. Mark)
Introduction
It was Chinese New Year again. I was happily munching away at some sea salt chocolate cookies at my mother’s place.
“These cookies are delicious.” I thought, “I am going to order a whole lot of these and distribute them to my friends and neighbours. I’m sure that these will earn me many brownie points and keep me in their favour.”
I’m not sure when I developed this ‘people pleasing’ attribute. It seems like a recent addition to my list of sins.
I think it occured somewhere in 2020 when I lost my job. I began to feel that I was somewhat inadequate in soft skills. I felt a strong urge to make up for it by deliberately being inordinately nice to others. In short, I was having social anxiety and my compensatory behaviour was to become people pleasing — more specifically, “to foist delicious baked goods at…
