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The Steadfast Yes
Honing a Secure Attachment
Choice Theory
Choice Theory teaches that everybody has a choice.
No one can force another to be in a relationship. For a relationship to work, both parties need to walk towards each other, meet in the middle and say Yes.
And because life is hard and suffering abounds, it is not easy to say Yes all the time.
Relationships that last are not necessarily relationships that are smooth sailing and conflict free. The necessary ingredient is the willingness to say YES to relationship even when conflict abounds. If both parties can constantly turn their faces towards each other, the relationship survives. This is a secure attachment.
Frankly speaking, we are all born with the propensity to say Yes — especially to a relationship with our mother/father/caregiver. That is because without them, we will most definitely perish. So babies are more often than not born screaming YES to their mothers.
Unfortunately, for some who have experienced neglect, as they were saying Yes and waiting for their mothers to come, their mothers chose to not come. They grew angry and despaired; Eventually they gave up and turned their faces away from their mothers to halt the disappointment and stop the pain.
